Eddie Izzard quote of the day

(Talking about people who give crushing handshakes)
I think you should react. It's the flipside of being an adult, if someone's
behaving like a fucking idiot then just go:
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! What the FUCK are you doing!!"

Bill Hicks quote of the day

Listen. Read. Think. Relax. Shut the f*ck up!

welease Wodger!

Why do some people torture their kids like this?
Poor unfortunate woman named Robin Rosemary Wodger.
I mean, just think of the schoolyard taunting she must've gotten..
No wonder she pegged out at the age of 39.

Won't somebody think of the children!

conversations

"How you doin' today?"
"Feeling like an Egyptian"
"Hot? Sandy? Pyramidial?"
"No: like my brains have been pulled out through my nose"

how's it going to end?

Listening to the superbly sinister, gravelly melodic, beautifully twisted
songs of Tom Waits - he tells a story in song better than anyone else.
Well, Nick Cave is on a par, possibly.
He paints a scattershot picture with this song, like moments glimpsed of a
movie, like a ghost gliding through a town glimpsing moments of peoples
lives..
Always wondering the same thing...
How's it going to end?

7 things

Seven things I want to do:

1. Get my nidan black belt.
2. Have a job I like.
3. BASE jump.
4. Write a book.
5. Work for myself.
6. Get several tattoos.
7. Be happy with my fitness.

Seven things I can do:

1. Put my right foot behind my head.
2. Stay calm.
3. Laugh wildly.
4. Dive.
5. Be cynical.
6. Take the piss.
7. Dither

Seven things I can't do:

1. Waste.
2. Listen to RnB without screaming.
3. Hurt people intentionally.
4. Forgive myself for hurting people.
5. Stop being homesick.
6. Live without pets.
7. Enjoy getting up in the mornings.

Seven things I say the most:

1. Que?
2. F*cksticks
3. I am a geeeeenius!
4. Meh.
5. You're on my list.
6. Dead and done.
7. Choice.

Seven books I love:

1. The Scar, China Mieville
2. The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
3. The Devil's Cup, Stuart Lee Allen
4. On Stranger Tides, Tim Powers
5. The Use of Weapons, Iain M Banks
6. No Logo, Naomi Klein
7. The Shorter Oxford English Dictionary

Seven movies I adore:

1. The Princess Bride
2. Bladerunner
3. Rear Window
4. The Big Sleep
5. Apocalypse Now
6. American Splendour
7. Donnie Darko

grave humour

Sadly deceased Lenny Kneebone.
Would make a great joke if he'd married Sue Legbone.

*humming 'Dem Bones'*

As it turns out he'd never been married - but his parents show that the Kneebone, strangely enough, is connected to the Ballcock...