Grooming: When ironing your shirt in the morning, do not attempt to drink coffee at the same time. Especially if it's a white shirt. Motor reflexes and general coordination are poor in the first few hours of the day (at least for normal humans - you 'morning people' can fuck right off).
Additional tip: after spilling coffee on said white shirt do not, in a fit of pique, throw the shirt onto a pile of dirty smelly clothes (including the previous night's sweat-sodden gi) until you've ascertained whether you actually have another shirt to wear, as this means you will not only be forced to wear a stained shirt but also one that smells like a donkey died on it.
End note: in Sydney at the moment you may be saved from some embarrassment by the fact that your shirt will become saturated with fresh sweat within 15 seconds of leaving the house anyway. Use this opportunity to further your reputation for being generally scruffy and unkempt.
4 comments:
I'm totally with you on telling the morning people to fuck off.
Also, your laundering habits seem eerily close to my brother's.
He tends to smell like a dead pit-bull and onions, however.
I don't (usually) actually tell morning people to fuck off, I just look at them with hate and loathing in my bleary red eyes till they trail off and start backing away babbling promises of coffee...
Fifteen Seconds?????!!!!1
What can I say, my pores work very well ;)
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